A Trip to the ER

Have you ever had a moment that gave you perspective on your life? I have - and it happened just four days before Christmas.

The Sunday before Christmas I had big plans. I was working up until Christmas Eve, so this was my last full unencumbered day to wrap up my Christmas errands. 

I had last-minute gifts to buy, including that all-to-important gift for that "special someone" in my life. Of course a trip to the grocery store was clearly necessary as I lacked many of the necessary holiday dinner accessories such as cranberry sauce, butter, green beans, etc. And I had promised my 10-year old a movie date to see Despereaux. But life had another plan for me.

My brother, who was in the neighborhood to cook a 70th birthday dinner for my ex mother-in-law, was staying with us Saturday night instead of heading back to Queens where he lives. On Sunday, something was clearly wrong. He felt weak, fatigued, short of breath and had chest pains. Not a good combination under any circumstance. 

We went to the ER at Jersey Shore where the two of us spent the entire day. He slept for much of the morning while I watched TV. As the day wore on and it became clear that nothing was physically wrong with him, I became annoyed. My daughter went to the movie with my ex-husband; my husband was at the Devils' game with my stepson; and I was sitting in the hospital with someone who didn't need to be there.

Why me? I thought. Why am I the one to have to give up MY day to sit here because my big brother can't take proper care of himself? 

While I wallowed in self-pity and annoyance, however, a thought occurred to me. I couldn't remember the last time it was just the two of us, hanging out together, with nothing to do and nowhere to go. 

I realized this day was not a punishment, but a gift. As he began to feel better in the afternoon, we talked and laughed and shared cell phone pics over an Italian sub and salt & vinegar potato chips (turns out we have a few things in common). He thanked me for being there for him and I realized that I was happy to be there.

A hospital emergency room is not the place where you expect magical moments to occur, but that's what happened to me. With Christmas only days away, and my brother in a hospital gurney next to me, I had my own small Christmas miracle. I was given an uninterrupted afternoon with my big brother.

Are you making a difference?

Last night I saw the new FOX series Secret Millionaire for the first time. For those of you not already familiar with this fantastic concept, FOX cameras follow multi-millionaires as they leave behind all of their money and possessions to live, for a week, in an impoverished area. The participants have $100 with which to find a place to live and to feed themselves. Since $100 isn't much, they also work for minimum wage.

Along their journey, these undercover millionaires must meet as many people as possible who are touching the lives of others in some way. At the end of the week, the millionaire must give away at least $100,000 of his or her own money to drastically change the life of someone they met. Last night, Mollly Shattuck, former NFL cheerleader and wife of Constellation Energy CEO, headed to a mining town in Pennsylvania with her mom. They worked at a grocery store for $6 an hour, cleaning floors and stocking shelves while trying to find people who were working to help others. It didn't take them long.

I won't spoil the show for those of you who may still want to tune in to FOX On Demand to see it. Needless to say, it was an amazing thing to watch.

For all of you out there who may want to help someone, but you just don't know where to begin, I found two great websites that will give you the direction that you need:

The Volunteer Center of Monmouth County

United Way of Ocean County

Check 'em out and sign up to help someone in your neighborhood today. You don't have to be a millionaire to make a difference.

Time of your life

If you live in Manasquan, no doubt you heard the sirens of the emergency vehicles and celebratory horn-honking that went on in town last Saturday night after the Warriors defeated the A.L. Johnson Crusaders in the Central Jersey Group II State Final held at Rutgers Stadium.

As I stood next to my car, here, at the Star News Group office, packing up my gear from a day of filming, I couldn't help but smile as carload after carload of jubilant Warrior fans drove down Main Street. Kids and teens, so excited by the victory they could no longer contain their glee, let out yells and screams while they hung out of car and truck windows as the impromptu parade made its way through town.

While I watched the spectacle I felt a mixture of emotions - first I was thrilled and happy, remembering my own high school days when such a victory was the most important event I could have ever imagined. Then, as the wailing of the sirens dissipated, something occurred to me - These kids have the world by the tail, but it won't last - and I felt a sudden wave of sadness. 

For many of those kids, that will be their happiest high school memory. And that's what makes me sad. Before they know it, this extraordinary time in their lives will be just that - a memory. 

Life has a way of flying by - particularly in times of joy. My only hope is that these kids understand that times like these are a rare treasure. And, when they are grown, with families of their own, they will look back and not have a single regret.

Main Street v. iStreet

Each year I have done more and more of my holiday shopping online. I scour sites like Amazon and Overstock for price comparisons, product reviews and free shipping offers, checking items off my holiday shopping list almost as fast as a free iTunes download.

Throughout the month of December I am continually and pleasantly surprised by parcels left on my doorstep - is this the Nano I ordered for my husband? Maybe it's the DS games I got for the kids? Before I know it, my shopping's done and I haven't had to fight for one parking space or wait in any lines.

Each year that I go through this process I spend less and less time in my local stores. And, until now, it never occurred to me to even wonder where my money was actually going when I make online purchases.

I can say for sure that it's not going to Mr. and Mrs. local shopkeeper; hence my dilemma.

Times are hard all around. While I don't think anyone can blame me - or anyone else for that matter - for shopping online where I can often buy more for less, I can't help but feel conflicted that my money is not helping my neighbors.

Is it a community's responsibility to patronize local stores and boutiques even if the prices are nowhere near as competitive? Or, is it the store owner's responsibility to work harder to separate themselves from the competition by offering niche gifts and top-notch customer service in lieu of lower prices?